Having a conversation with a parent about their drinking is never easy, no matter your age. Our parents have often been independent for many years, and often balk at advice from the children they raised.
But alcohol addiction is a serious disease, and very few people are able to control or stop their drinking without medical help, even seniors. In addition, alcohol withdrawal without supervision and medical support can even be dangerous.
When the signs of alcohol abuse in older parents start to show, it’s important to step in with care, compassion, and clarity before the problem becomes devastating or deadly. Today, we’ll discuss alcohol addiction in seniors and how to open up the conversation without starting an argument.
Is My Senior Parent Drinking Too Much?
Seniors can be more vulnerable to alcohol’s effects than younger people. Their bodies process alcohol differently, and what may have been a “normal” amount decades ago can be risky now. On top of that, medications, isolation, and chronic pain can all add fuel to the fire.
Signs of Alcohol Abuse in older parents include:
- Drinking alone or hiding alcohol use
- Neglecting personal hygiene
- Missing appointments and other obligations
- Falls or other injuries
- Wanting to quit or cut down, and not being able to
- Risky behavior, such as drunk driving
- Experiencing withdrawal symptoms when not drinking
If your loved one is experiencing any of these symptoms, it may be time to have a talk with them about their drinking.
How to Open a Conversation With a Parent Who May be Problem Drinking
The main thing you’ll want to remember when attempting to open a conversation is to start low pressure and try to avoid conflict. Direct confrontation often causes people to close themselves off, deny they have a problem, and can create rifts in families.
First, pick an appropriate time. You don’t want to approach your loved ones when they are drunk, agitated, or around others. Perhaps you can take a relaxing drive together or do something fun like a sunny walk in the park. You’re looking for a calm situation where you can talk effectively.
Begin softly. You’re not attempting to judge or accuse. You’re asking because you care. Avoid harsh words like “alcoholic” and other accusations. Use “I statements” and speak truthfully but calmly about how you feel. You can say something like:
“I’ve noticed you’ve been drinking more, and it’s starting to worry me a bit. I love you, and I just wanted to check in with you.”
If your relative opens up, listen to them. Ask questions gently. If they’re open to getting help, you can do some of the legwork in finding a doctor or treatment center. A structured rehab program that specializes in alcohol detox for seniors is often the safest and most effective route.
Overall, be there for them. Listening is just as important as speaking.
Is an Intervention Necessary?
In many cases, your parent may be dismissive of your concerns about their drinking. They may try to minimize their drinking or deny there is a problem. In this case it may be better to back off and try again another time. You want to avoid causing a fight that may rupture your connection and anger your parent, causing them to be even more secretive and withdraw from you and others who care about them.
However, there may come a point where you are unable to get through to your parent and gentle talking is not enough. If your parent’s drinking begins to put themselves or others at risk and they haven’t responded to attempts to discuss the matter, it may be time for an intervention.
An intervention is a carefully planned and structured conversation where loved ones come together to talk to someone about their disease and how they may get treatment. They’re powerful tools, but should be used after other conversations have failed. An intervention therapist can help you set one up if you think it may be necessary.
Why Medical Support Matters
Just as many people don’t know that there are professionals available to help set up an intervention, you should also understand that quitting alcohol isn’t just about willpower. It’s a disease, a disease that requires medical help.
For problem drinkers, quitting cold turkey can be life-threatening. Alcohol withdrawal can cause seizures, heart problems, and even death if not properly managed. Alcohol detox for seniors should always be supervised by medical professionals.
Get Help for an Alcoholic Parent Today
If you’re in Missouri and wondering how you can help your parent or loved one, our programs offer compassionate, medically supervised treatment options specifically tailored for older adults.
Give us a call today at (417) 448-6488 to discuss options for your loved ones. No one should face the journey to sobriety alone.
Sources:
Treatment. National Institute on Drug Abuse.
Treatment of Substance Use Disorders. U.S. Centers For Disease Control.
